Monk >>
sunday february 28 - 08:21 @Don-x
I know. I just saw. SO exciting! A warm welcome awaits the Naija Boyz.
The Abbot is delighted at the draw. We have got to the last 16 of the African league before but never past this stage, so he is blowing the rest of the season's hospitality budget on your arrival.
The normal format goes something like this:
A red carpet welcome with refreshing drinks and general chill out around the lake.
Free food (7 course delux menu) and water blessed by the Abbot himself.
Free massage using ancient Daoist techniques, chakra realignment, reflexology treatment (including removal of any unsightly corns and bunions) and a laying on of hands treatment just in case there are any demons lurking inside any of your players.
Free transport to the match (you have to walk down the hill to the pitch normally but we provide rickshaw transport to those wanting a new experience) and then the game itself.
The Monks' style of play is best described as 'agricultural' where we kick the shit out of anything that moves, but it's all good natured. You should be guaranteed the crucial away goal to keep the tie interesting for the second leg.
Post match we offer another free massage, free plasters and treatment for cuts and bruises, free councelling for any players who have been involved in on pitch fighting and feel traumatised (we specialise in players struggling with PTSD) and unlimited supply of Agador Ale at the post match drinks party. Best be a bit careful, it's 6.5% and we don't want anyone missing their flight back to Nigeria. There was so much paperwork to fill in after we played that South African team last season. Those allegations you read in the newspapers are not true. Apart from the ones about Mrs Miggins from the laundrette in Golcar, that was spot on.
Good luck tomorrow and enjoy the game!