BakerMan >>
vendredi octobre 9 - 16:03, Modifié
vendredi octobre 9 - 16:18 Well another year of continuing my proud tradition of winning bugger all - 1 super cup and 14 friendly cups are all I have to show for something like 18 consecutive seasons of finishing in the top 4. 5 times finishing second in the league (all to Seaburn), 4 losing cup finals (all to Seaburn), 7 losing youth cup finals (to guess who).
Having considered all my options I have come to the inevitable conclusion that my only hope is to assasinate Stephen. I thought about trying harder in the transfer market, changing tactics and replacing all my team with killer cyborgs, but assasination just seems a lot less hassle.
I'm faking having an alternative plan by clearing out a few players so if anyone is in the market for the following, go crazy and make a bid:
England international defensive midfielder - not even 30 yet! Great personal grooming. All his own teeth. Think how good Nathan Dupres would look in your squad.
Excessively tall Ghanaian stiker Atsu Ndiour. Able to mostly stay on his feet and even scores the odd goal (25 in the league this season). Great hair braiding techniques (looking at his profile pic) are a bonus - he can bring this to keep all your team looking the part.
Feel your team is missing an Albanian midfielder already capped by his country at the age of 21? Want a player with that 'team' ethos who will gladly fight any opposing player? Then the magnificently named Orion Maniani is the man for you.
Pointless 3rd string goalkeeper not up to scratch? Neither is mine, which is why I'm selling Malik Klouchi. Currently on holiday in South Sudan, but ready to return for anyone even vaguely interested.
Soon to be avaiable - perpetual loanee Kevin Turley. Really he should have signed for Chelsea where he could of enjoyed the feeling of never actually being there. He's short, he's concentrated and damn he scored a lot of goals in the Finnish 3rd division (and quite a few in the top league in South Africa to be fair). Still only 19 years old. To be honest he's quite a good prospect, but he's ginger.
If the assasination fails, I'm banking on the above sales giving me enough cash to finally build my level 5 youth academy, so my shiny new graduates will be able to enjoy that feeling of losing to Seaburn Beach as much as my current squad for the next 20 seasons.
Hope all your wildest fantasies come true in season 55.
Cheers
BakerMan