Numpty >> csütörtök június 25 - 14:01, Szerkesztve csütörtök június 25 - 14:19

I thought it might generate some interest if a few people would like to write up an end of season report for their club. In whatever form you like. 

I'll make the first attempt. 

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Numpty's end of season report to the board

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Facilities 

The good news is that the club continues to develop the infrastructure needed to compete at a higher level.  This season we completed 2 extensions to the Office and have recently started a renovation of the Youth Centre. 

Despite the board's instructions to cut building costs and employ cowboy builders from Croatia we have had to comply with the building regulations stipulated by the authorities based in Delft. This has caused us significant delays and the construction costs have been much higher than anticipated in the club's budget. 

The irony is that the very same authorities who set the building regulations also run the world cup. Or not. But I digress ... 

Current youth facilities are rather poor and most of our youngsters aren't even good enough to play amateur football. The limit of their ambition is to become reality TV stars. 

So next season we intend to commence further renovations to the Youth Centre in the hope this might help to produce a few professionals. 

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Finance

Putting the club on a sound financial footing is our top priority and will be for the forseeable future. 

The long term plan is one of financial prudence that will enable us to increase the capital year on year until we have sufficient to finance the building of a massive 200,000 all-seater stadium. With the income from player sales in the upcoming transfer window it is expected that we should have around 40%-50% of the estimated cost by the end of the season.

It is hoped to raise further capital via crowdfunding and also the possibility of a large investment with an appearance on Dragons' Den. With that in mind I will need the board to consider diluting their shareholdings.   

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Staff 

We have employed 1 new staff in the Museum. I have no idea what he does with his time but the takings don't even cover his wages. This position needs to be reviewed. 

We are now looking for someone to run our shining new youth centre when it opens. The main quality seems to be having a strong interest in young boys, so we are currently scouting the dark web in the hope of finding the same. I have interviewed a few candidates who had strong convictions and a record for youth football. Unfortunately these turned out to be court convictions and a police record. 

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Players

We continue to have a high churn rate with our players. The youngsters are never good enough and are usually released by the time they are 21. None have yet made it to the senior squad. Some of them are talented enough but poor coaching and mediocre facilities mean they never reach their full potential. 

Due to the financial constraints, a limited budget is used to buy senior players if they are good value. Top quality players are simply out of our reach at this time. 

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Fans

This is an important aspect of club development and any club with ambition needs their fans. Without them there is absolutely no point building a massive stadium, so every effort and opportunity is being made to popularise the club. 

I am happy to report that the widely used measure 'Popularity' has shown good growth and is up by 370,000 so far, it should reach 400,000 by the end of the season. If current trends continue we will be well placed to get good attendances when we have the finances in place to build a much larger stadium. 

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On the Pitch

We've had another moderately successful season in the league and maintained our 100% home record which now extends to 12 seasons. The away form is patchy and we find ourselves in the play-offs. 

We had a great cup run this season and the players performed way above expectations to reach the national cup semi-final for the very first time in our history. The players made a good effort but Melchester were just too strong. Congrats to @Monk for reaching his first final. 

The amazing cup performances were a huge surprise to eveyone, including myself, and are unlikely to be repeated ... ... until next season. 

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Manager's Health Issues 

The Covid-19 lockdown has both reduced my exercise and increased my food intake and this has resulted in my waist creating it's own 2-metre exclusion zone. I am therefore requesting an end of season break at a local health spa. 

Aad Mansveld >> vasárnap július 19 - 13:22

very nice to read :)

wonderlust >> vasárnap július 19 - 21:37

Just found this (thanks Aad)!  Will write one up at the end of this season, if I remember - although probably not as long ;-)

Kalle >> hétfő július 20 - 12:34

Nice, maybe i'll also make one end of this season :)