Stephen >> vineri martie 15 - 13:17

The world of football has been rocked with recent game developments and Seaburn Beach's announcement that they are striving for a top half finish this season.

The Sandglass - Seaburn's premier and, to be fair, only newspaper (your one-stop-shop for all local current affairs - again, to be fair, essentially a list of tide times) - has been filled with angry letters from fans who will not accept anything less than the treble.

Stephen attempted to quell the anger in a hastily arranged press conference, stating that 'nothing lasts forever' and explaining he was 'as disappointed as anyone that Malepa will not play 1000 games for the club'. He went on to voice numerous platitudes and clichés that added nothing.

Unfortunately. the press conference backfired somewhat when, after the event, audio emerged of Stephen appearing to call the Seaburn fans 'ungrateful oiks'. The local media, perhaps angered by the instant coffee they had been served at the conference, have been demanding an explanation.

Good luck to all this season! 

Lee >> sâmbătă martie 16 - 11:51, Editat sâmbătă martie 16 - 11:51

'Striving for a top half finish' - I smell something fishy at Seaburn, and I'm not just referring to the seafront on a hot summer's day. I think anything other than top 4 would cause a riot.

At the other end of the country, the Pixels have dismantled the U21 Invincibles squad for pennies on the pound (but not before selling a record 12 t-shirts to gullible 8-year olds who dared to dream big).

The money has been ploughed into strengthening the defence and midfield with solid, experienced players who were hoodwinked into believing the pipedream sold to them by an ever-desperate manager hellbent on making one of his ill-thoughtout plans actually work.

A new forward is still needed but the manager is confident he can find another sucker by throwing enough money around.

Numpty >> sâmbătă martie 16 - 12:41

That fishy smell will be the brothel next door to the Old Tram Shelter. Or so I've been told. 

Stephen >> sâmbătă martie 16 - 14:12

Always with the mind in the sewer, Numpty. The youth of today, tsk.

Stephen >> luni martie 18 - 20:59

A new look Seaburn Beach took to the field today without a host of familiar faces. Stephen declared himself satisfied with a 6-0 win and singled out new set piece taker Wynn for some praise after the match.

"Pooh looked great today. He's been working with the set piece coach on the training ground and I'm not surprised he's managed to bag a brace today. I said to him before the match to watch that free kick Raheem Sterling took yesterday and, whatever he did, he couldn't do any worse. It seemed to settle him, though I was a bit worried he was still giggling to himself 20 minutes into the game. To be fair, you can't blame him. I've not seen anything as ridiculous since that Simone Zaza penalty back in the day"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wa13u8JGiWA

And that free kick if you haven't seen it:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MIiKTf3QOLQ

Alex Seymour >> marţi martie 19 - 01:17

Reminds me of that Chris Waddle penalty....

Stephen >> marţi martie 19 - 06:32

Too soon, Alex, too soon. My 11 year old self is still not over it :(

Alex Seymour >> marţi martie 19 - 22:10

Yeah I watched it again on youtube to see if it was as bad as I remembered. It is.

I can't watch penalty shootouts since the WC in 98. Ask Lee, I walked out of his house during a shoot out a while back as I couldn't watch it. Left him alone to watch the inevitable.

Lee >> miercuri martie 20 - 18:21

I wish I had left the house before the penalties in the Euro 2020 final.

Charlie Mopps >> joi martie 21 - 08:40

As Italian, I remember those of Euro 2020(1) with pleasure :) ...

Those of USA '94 left a bad taste in my mouth instead :S .

Let's say "it's a spinning wheel"...

Monk >> joi martie 21 - 21:10

And there was me thinking you were Irish!

Charlie Mopps >> vineri martie 22 - 07:54

I put the Irish flag because I love Ireland and the name Charlie Mopps comes from an Irish folk song. As a former rugby player, Ireland and the UK have always fascinated me.

Numpty >> vineri martie 22 - 12:14

That really confused me when you first started posting Charlie.

Your written English is excellent and sounds like a native, together with a combination of the name and the Irish flag that I assumed it was your 1st language... and then I saw Italian on your profile.

Alex Seymour >> sâmbătă martie 23 - 21:26

Makes sense now that he won the Euros. Italians produce some quality international managers.

BakerMan >> joi martie 28 - 19:25

Last hurrah of the 80 year old goalie in the Canvey vs Monks match today!