The world of football has been rocked with recent game developments and Seaburn Beach's announcement that they are striving for a top half finish this season.
The Sandglass - Seaburn's premier and, to be fair, only newspaper (your one-stop-shop for all local current affairs - again, to be fair, essentially a list of tide times) - has been filled with angry letters from fans who will not accept anything less than the treble.
Stephen attempted to quell the anger in a hastily arranged press conference, stating that 'nothing lasts forever' and explaining he was 'as disappointed as anyone that Malepa will not play 1000 games for the club'. He went on to voice numerous platitudes and clichés that added nothing.
Unfortunately. the press conference backfired somewhat when, after the event, audio emerged of Stephen appearing to call the Seaburn fans 'ungrateful oiks'. The local media, perhaps angered by the instant coffee they had been served at the conference, have been demanding an explanation.
Good luck to all this season!