BREAKING NEWS....BREAKING NEWS.....BREAKING NEWS.....

Canvey Island FC, of English division 5.5, are under investigation for illegal transfer activity and could be deducted points if found guilty.

Sky Sports are awaiting a comment from the Canvey manager.

The FA said no rules were broken when we gave the new keeper we got on loan a 'limited edition' Canvey Kebab house gold card, which entitles the bearer to a life time supply of dodgy meat (starting next season).

The unlimited use of Steve's taxis also came under scrutiny but insufficient evidence of wrongdoing was found.

The investigating committee wishes Canvey good fortune for the remainder of the season.