Monk >> thursday february 23 - 06:50

At almost £200 million, I'd want a return like that from a 28 year old. He is clearly making Newcastle a force in the league again this year. I could certainly do with someone like that!

Stephen >> thursday february 23 - 20:42

Canterbury, 23 Feb 2023: An extraordinary robbery took place when Seaburn Beach stole three points from league leaders LGA. Using a tried and tested formula employed by charlatans, chancers and yes, dandies over many generations of RS game play, Seaburn spent most of the match under the cosh but snatched an unlikely winner near the end of the match. 

The gap is down to one point. Can LGA hold their nerve? Can the once Mighty Beach keep Malepa fit for the rest of the season and somehow cobble together enough goals from the ne'er-do-wells and also-rans who make up their outfield players?

Rumours have spread online that Stephen consulted with semi-mystical figure The Abbot ahead of the crunch match to provide him with some divine intervention and/or match-fixing. An investigation has so far yielded no evidence of this and Stephen was not available for comment. 

Blackwhite >> friday february 24 - 14:03, Edited friday february 24 - 14:03

The game that should not be lost. And it's a defeat that revives the championship

Our team has conceded 4 goals in the last 4 games while the other 4 have been scored in the previous 19 games.

As during the first phase, we play all the contenders for the title of champion in a row.

In the England Cup, only big teams met.... The next team is away against Jaypridee

Our team is still engaged in the European Cup just like Seaburn in the Champions League

Stephen >> monday february 27 - 20:48

11 games to go and the yellow and green of Seaburn Beach moves to the top of the table for the first time this season, much like the bad guy who just will not die despite having been stabbed, shot and blown up.

Forgot to set a lineup today but, despite going down to 10 men early on, the Beach's assistant manager got the job done with his trade mark 3-5-2. Must have been the total of 0.32 duelling across the two DMs that got the job done.

I still think those early draws will mean LGA can come through and take back first place. I still have to play three of the top 8 including a difficult trip to Canvey Island.

Stephen >> wednesday march 1 - 09:26

The Beach's CL games in the knockout phase are proving to be strictly for the diehards. No goals scored and no goals conceded now across the four matches that make up the last 16 and QFs. Television stations are reporting low ratings and Seaburn Beach has issued blankets and pillows to spectators.

In between yawns at the press conference, Stephen defended his approach:

"In today's hectic world, we're giving people the chance to just take stock and reflect while 22 men endlessly kick a ball around without any of the fuss or nonsense that goals create. It's a space for contemplation and perhaps even a nap. Sleep is so important to our health. We've even approached the footballing authorities to see if we can dim the floodlights to really help people get a good rest."

Dragontao >> wednesday march 1 - 13:50

Startling paparazzi shots today showed Seaburn manager Stephen coming out a a second hand bookshop carrying well thumbed copies of George Graham and Don Howe's autoiographies and coaching manuals, and carrying a bag which appeared to contain what looked like a crate of red bull and some caffeine pills.

Numpty >> thursday march 2 - 09:41, Edited saturday march 4 - 09:02

A very interesting title race this season. All credit to Blackwhite and Stephen for the standard they are setting. 

On another note the total finances held by the English league has now passed £40 billion.

At least one and probably a few clubs must have a very large balance.

This is speculation but most likely 90% (£36b) of the wealth would be held by the clubs who have built stadium 11 - and there are 21 clubs with stadium 11, out of a total of 112 clubs with users.

There will also be an uneven distribution across the stadium 11 clubs with some struggling to keep out of the red and maybe the richest 4 or 5 clubs sharing around £25-30b between them. 

As far as I know Liverpool City, now in league 3, are the richest club having seemingly concentrated on saving money for the last few years. Will they come back stronger or has the manager given up? 

For comparison:

Countries with over £10 billion

• China £86.6b (278 users)
• Latvia £25.4b (120 users)
• Netherlands £23.1b (72 users)
• Poland £20.9b (91 users)
• USA £20.4b (49 users)
• Italy £17.8b (94 users)
• Turkey £16.6b (51 users) 
• Morocco £16.4b (18 users) 
• France £16.2b (70 users)
• Spain £15.9b (66 users)
• Hungary £15.8b (79 users)
• Belgium £12.4b (47 users)
• Portugal £12.3b (41 users)
• Nigeria £11.3b (24 users)
• Greece £11.0b (37 users)
• Argentina £10.5b (69 users)
• Bulgaria £10.3b (40 users)

*Users - clubs with a stadium

Alex Seymour >> thursday march 2 - 20:58

Get well soon mate. If you manage to win the Premiership this season and beat covid, that will be a super double!

Monk >> friday march 3 - 05:55

Get well soon, Blackwhite. 

Stephen >> friday march 3 - 06:42

Yes, get well soon! 

Blackwhite >> saturday march 4 - 07:19

thanks guys

==> it's getting a bit better

Stephen >> saturday march 4 - 17:51

Well, my defeat today will cheer you up :)

First league defeat since season 63, I think. Would have preferred it to be to more than just two shots to lose 1-0 and not be missing three key players but it's been a good run.

LGA has been the best team this season so deserve the title.

Alex Seymour >> saturday march 4 - 19:40

The dodgy kebab at half time trick has finally worked.

Monk >> sunday march 5 - 06:49, Edited sunday march 5 - 07:16

Relatively straight forward run ins for both LGA and Seaburn, I would have thought. LGA's home game against a rejuvenated Bolt On Wonderbras today will be key. Bolt On have been somewhat reinforced this season with a couple of key signings which has perked them up considerably, so I expect a close game today.