Monk >> friday may 26 - 05:46

Don't worry Cloughie. The away dressing room at the Monastery for today's match has all the mod cons. Hot water, shower rooms with beautiful ornate tiling, free massages for all your players and a deluxe care package for every player, attending to every little niggle they might have. Visiting teams are often so relaxed they do not want to leave the dressing room. The monks' dressing room on the other hand is best described as spit and sawdust. Enjoy the game.

Lee >> monday may 29 - 21:13

I managed a 1:1 draw with Seaburn today in a ridiculously one-sided game:

Crosses: Pixels 1/1; Seaburn 17/26

Tackles: Pixels 1; Seaburn 22

Corners: Pixels 0; Seaburn 11

Shots: Pixels 1; Seaburn 22

I would have taken a point before the game but I'm frustrated because Seaburn equalised in the 83rd minute.

wonderlust >> tuesday may 30 - 22:17

Pleasantly surprised to be challenging for a European place, even though it's still early in the season.  It appears my tactic of not getting round to selling players I don't want is paying off.

Monk >> friday june 2 - 15:51

A spokesperson for the Abbot described him as being "thrilled" with the cup victory over Cardiff today. Thrilling it most certainly was not for those who bothered turning up. A thoroughly dour 120 minutes, with only two shots at goal, both from Cardiff free kicks, saw the match move to penalties. How to score a against the world's best keeper? Well, keeper little Sean Enix just treats them like goal kicks. Anyone not too careful is liable to have their head taken clean off. After that, unpredictable penalty specialist Brother Tuteru was unexpectedly good and those two were enough to see us through thanks to little Shaun's efforts in goal. Into the quarter finals we go.

Just to prove it wasn't a fluke, they then ground out another 0-0 without a shot at goal against rivals Seaburn Beach. Newspaper headlines talk about Scammonden Daoists the snore-draw specialists, but the brothers don't care. They have their sights set on a return to European football. Finding a goalscorer might be essential in this transfer window if that is to happen this season.

Monk >> monday june 5 - 09:22

Cup Quarter-Final

Newcastle Town vs Jaypridee Town
Les Gothiques Amienois vs Ilkeston City
Tottenham Hotspur vs Scammonden Daoists
Forever We Are Wolves vs Seaburn Beach

Some good cup ties there.

BakerMan >> tuesday june 6 - 06:42

Oh dear - just got drawn against the winners of the Champions League for the last 4 seasons, so think my run in that may be coming to a quick end..

Rest of season is going OK, and finances just about holding up! 

Numpty >> thursday june 8 - 12:09

Funnily enough I had the same feeling when drawn against Jaypridee Town in the Cup, lol.

A combination of lucky draws and some very strange results have seen us make the semis of the Youth Cup with what must be one of the worst youth teams to ever reach that stage. We've had a lot better youth sides and have never previously made it past the last 16. 

Blackwhite >> tuesday june 13 - 07:41

Jaypridee Town: 27 games and no goals conceded

Is it possible to stay like this until the end of the season ?

Blackwhite >> tuesday june 20 - 08:14

• 5 shots for Seaburn Beach vs 0 for Jaypridee Town
• 1 goal scored for Seaburn Beach against 0 for Jaypridee Town

==> A Cup final marked by the power of the goalkeepers of each team

Congratulations to Seaburn for this new Trophy

Stephen >> tuesday june 20 - 15:45

Possibly the most tedious penalty shoot out of all-time? Most players didn't even hit the target. But, it's good to have the name of Seaburn Beach back on silverware again...

BakerMan >> tuesday june 20 - 17:47

Pretty certain I didn't send my guys out with the instruction to under no circumstances shoot and make sure you miss all your penalties!

Almost certainly the worst cup final in league history!

Congrats Stephen - 2 finals lost this year for me, but only 3 games left to hold on in the league...

Lee >> thursday june 22 - 19:16

Congratulations BakerMan - obviously winning the title is just like waiting for a bus: you wait for ages and then along come 2!

BakerMan >> thursday june 22 - 21:58

The question is do I go for three in a row or call it a day? 

The journey was more interesting than the destination!

wonderlust >> thursday june 22 - 22:11

Well done BakerMan - you can celebrate by thrashing my lot tomorrow.

Mid-table mediocrity again for us *yawn*

Stephen >> friday june 23 - 07:40

A crushing 5-1 win for the Beach in the EL final this morning. That's two in a row for English sides. Who's up next season?