League of England season 53
Forum: League forum 
Discuss your league, who are the favorites to win the league this season? Who will be promoted/relegated, how are you doing in the cup?
Season 75 (107)
Must.... resist...
Stephen - I'll do it: Ooh Betty!!! (look it up kids)
Just as a matter of interest, give this a thumbs up if you get it, a thumbs down if it doesn’t make any sense. I won’t take it personally.
“Hello, Frank. How did the football go today?”
“Ooh, Betty. Not very well, really.”
“Oh dear. You didn’t get splinters in your bottom again from sitting on the bench, did you Frank?”
“No, it was worse than that. Little Shaun Ennix was injured so I had to play in goal. It was very scary. So scary in fact, that I had to do a whoopsie against the goal post after five minutes. All the Canvey fans were laughing at me. It was very embarrassing. And then they started throwing toilet rolls at me in case I needed that. It made it very difficult to concentrate on the game.”
“Did you manage to make any saves?”
“No, not today. But we did manage to get a 3-3 draw, which the Abbot said was ’a bloody miracle’, so I suppose that’s good, but I don’t like the way that man looks at me. It’s very intimidating when you are trying to do your best. He was so angry at the end of the game that he threw a corner flag at me. I told him to be careful, he could have had my eye out with that.”
“Oh dear. I suppose the manager isn’t very happy either?”
”No, Mr Monk is very nice. He said that he hadn’t enjoyed a game that much for years and that I am worth every penny of the £4,500 a week he is paying me. Apparently, he wants me to have a lifetime contract, which is nice. Hmm. That’ll be really useful for repairing the bathroom after last week’s episode and the rest can go to baby Jessica’s pony bills. Yes, Betty, I’ll stay at Scammonden and do it for you and baby Jessica.”
The two most ridiculous posts I've seen in a while. Well played @Lee and @Monk. You have brightened my day :)
Some managers do 'ave 'em.
Thanks for the memories folks. :)
Has to be one of the best sitcoms ever produced. Not many series though if I recall correctly.
Other classic British sitcoms include:
Only Fools And Horses, Are You Being Served, Porridge, Just Good Friends, Fawlty Towers, Yes Minister, Bread ... and anything involving Ronnie Barker or Eric Morecambe.
Shelley with Hywel Bennett was very good in my opinion.
Are players immortal? Will the old goalkeepers eventually die or are we looking at a future of 200 year old goalkeepers dominating the leagues?
Who is the oldest player in the game?
Old GKs will eventually become very expensive to run. Their wages start going up in their 50s and the better they are the quicker their pay will rise. I've already seen a few players being sold where they become unaffordable and eventually they will end up sold to the bank.
The problem that everyone will have with the old keepers is that their wages go back up with their rating. Then they eventually get fired or 'banked' when they become too expensive.
Durrance for example:
https://rockingsoccer.com/en/soccer/info/player-1315040
And Pucciol went to the bank:
https://rockingsoccer.com/en/soccer/info/player-826576/employment
So you probably won't see 200 year old keepers. Of course much weaker keepers will take a lot longer to become great players and demand massive wages. But who wants to wait for another 50 or 100 seasons? My guess is that you might get a few who reach 100.
Edit
Posted before seeing Stephen's reply. Same answer.
Durrance's wages - I'd settle for a one-off payment of half that!
Vincent's not paying you enough!
Just for the record, Frank Spencer is going to be the Monks' reserve keeper forever! He's never going to be so good that we can't afford good wages, so it'll be a really good test of my patience.
Frank wants to play in the cup tomorrow :D
He'll probably be a great keeper in another 100 seasons - only 14 years to wait then.
Nice try Numpty. Frank is not starting the cup tie.he is on the bench though, so If Ennis gets crocked then he's on!
